You probably need a wedsite

First, an update: Yay we have found a venue and set a date, you guys! Nothing has been officially signed yet, and we still have some details to hash out (primarily menu stuff), but it’s definitely happening on that date and in that place. I’ll write about the process in a future post, but basically, oh man was it a relief to find a place that could do what we wanted at a reasonable budget. I’m so excited knowing that it’s actually possible now. When I received the quotes that made me happy, I told my dad and instead of getting psyched he reiterated the importance of not cheaping out the guests. Dad I promise everyone will have plenty to eat and drink, ok? I think the poor guy is maybe a little in shock at the extent to which I’m willing to pare things down, and bears pretty patiently the fact that I don’t want a Wedding Dress. So maybe he’s allowed concerns about food 🙂

So I’m preparing to send out the STDs mass email to all the guests so they can start booking flights and so on. And there will be a lot of questions. I can see them now:
Where can we stay?
How do we get there?
Do I need a visa?
Just exactly how ridiculously hot and humid is it, over there?
Will it be monsoon season? What happens in monsoon season?
What should we wear?

Back in the days when people lived in the same town as everyone they knew, these questions would have mostly been non-existent. And if there were any questions (What present should we give you?), Miss Manners tells me this kind of stuff was handled by the guest asking the mother of the bride. Especially when it comes to gifts, there was this system of discreetly approaching someone close to the couple. Kind of like how your Mom discusses with you what to get your fiancé for Christmas. It’s a very civilised practice, relieving the giver from admitting to the recipient they’re not sure what to get them, and relieving the recipient from the rudeness of demanding something from the giver. Win win.

But alas, here we are with our darn modern lives again, having friends and family in places other than the same town we live in, dammit. So, many questions will happen. And each person asking them will all be given the same answers. It just makes a crapload of sense to put this information together for people to check on at their convenience. Hence, wedding websites.

Wedding websites are in the same category as save-the-dates*: a recent wedding innovation that actually makes sense, but is very vulnerable at this cultural juncture to getting out of hand and being more stupid than useful.

For instance, a wedding is not a PR event. Not a PR event. Not a PR event. Here are some things that are not required at things that aren’t PR events:

  • branding
  • a background story about how the company was founded how you met
  • profiles of the keynote speakers people getting married
  • how to make donations to the charity people adult enough to get married

The people you invited already know who you are. Frankly, to imply otherwise is kind of weird and alienating, no? The wedsite should be for logistical purposes only. It is not a branding exercise. But probably, if you have lots of traveling guests, it’s a good idea to have one.

The good news, wedding websites are free! Yay! Offbeat Bride for example offers several templates. 

If you were going to have a registry, this would probably be the place to tuck that information, in as non-obnoxious a way as you can think of. To be honest my jury is still out on that one, but I lean heavily towards no registry – we’re asking people to travel, for goodness sake, plus they’ll be obliged to spend the night at a resort of my choosing. I think that seriously maxes out my demand quota.

Ok, I’m going to go ahead now and spend some time putting our wed site together, so the link is ready dissemination when we email everyone the date. Yay! We have a date!

*Does that term need hyphens or not? Kindly place your vote.

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5 responses to “You probably need a wedsite

  1. I always find it hilarious when couples include information on who they are on their wedding website. I was actually thinking of writing a page on my blog (I have another one in Spanish) for logistical purposes too, and include it in the invitations. Something like: for information on how to get here and where to stay, check out myurl.com/wedding. That way I wouldn’t have to set up another webpage just for the wedding.

  2. Excellent news about the date and the RESORT (*claps hands together*).

    I think a website is a great idea its a convenient way of getting information, sharing it with others who need to see it and printing etc. I wonder if you could use it after the event also, say, to share wedding photos? Or is that super tacky? I am a wedding dunce so I’m not sure… What would Miss Manners do…?

    • Nothing wrong with sharing wedding photos! In fact I think the free website templates I link to even have a thing for that. I’m sure Miss Manners would be cool with it!

  3. Love the idea of a wedsite (I’ll email you the link to ours – my fiance put the entire thing together himself, including the RSVP function. I’m proud of him, but boy does he like reinventing the wheel. Could have done almost the same thing in 30 minutes with a template).

    Cannot wait to hear about the venue hunt!!!

  4. Yeah- if the people on your guest list don’t know who you are and why you’re having a wedding, that list might be too long.
    I might do the wedding website, but so far I’ve put no thought into how to brand us as a couple- gross. A site does make sense for logistical purposes, and discreet registry info. I might also use a photo sharing site to get that info out there.

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